To Live or Die
by FireFaerie33
Summary: Woohoo!! Chappy two is close to be posted! Summary?? Umm... it's self explanitory! Once I get chappy two up I'll repost my summary. 2 reviews?? Wow, I must be really pathetic or something! -_-


Summary: The Atrox has poisoned Stanton out of untrustworthiness notions. The poison engraves scars on Stanton's mind, forcing him out of love with Serena. Being a heavy burden, Stanton is left with the choice of living his life without Serena, or dying for her.  
  
Author's Note: I do not own these characters, they belong to the crafty, talented Lynne Ewing. All I own is the crazy twisted scheme. and maybe even my sanity, if I can find it. Flames excepted, but beware, they will be used to roast my marshmallows to a fluffy, golden brown state. Constructive criticism and suggestions are welcome, so feel free to give me your honest opinion. Without further ado, I'll be happy to start my fanfiction now!  
  
Chapter 1  
  
A/N: Stanton's POV.  
  
Stanton slipped furtively into the shadows once more, enjoying the feeling of being nothing but mere darkness. He loved being secluded and separated, but what he loved above it all is that this was not a quality or an ability found in a common person; an inferior; which made Stanton superior and sublime to everyone else in his eyes.. except maybe his better half. Ritualistically he made his way up Serena's terrace and through her grand, French double doors, committing an act of intrusion; thought not being an intruder himself. He gazed in awe for about the hundredth time at Serena's room. He felt as if someone had taken the very essence of her soul and let it run rampant and free; every single detail of it leaving a mark of its pure individuality, before it scampered away only to be released once more whilst Serena played her cello. Stanton had never seen or probably will never see that will quite describe her this adequately. He watched as Serena snuggled a cuddly looking stuffed bear closer to her chest. He was snowy white, wearing a green scarf accompanied by a red hat and pair of gloves. He waited there in the shadows, on bated breath. He did not want to disturb the elegance and innocence of her rest. She was an angel, sleeping so peacefully. If anyone deserved to be this enticed by blissful slumber, it was she. Cautiously, he crept to her bedside. He stood before her now, her divine image gracing his very presence, feeling the heat emanating from her body. He admired her so much, for she was the very essence of beauty herself. Varying greatly, he was the very essence of vile corruption, the very source of deception and dishonesty. He was a threat to everyone in his way, especially his beloved Serena. Not only a threat, but a promising one.. a deadly one. He longed not to be that threat, not to impose danger upon her. It was his duty to ensure her safety above all things, yet also his duty to prevent her safety as well. It was people like him who could never really understand what love truly was, for all they knew were corruption and lies, and were seduced by the Atrox. That's what landed most of them in this mess in the first place. But not him, not Stanton, for he was invitus, taken to the Atrox against his will. There was love somewhere deep inside him. Chained up and buried underneath the multiple layers of deception and dishonesty. Serena was its captor, its savior. She brought it forth, and nurtured it to flourish.  
  
Only wanting to see his angel, he took her hand gingerly in his own, and gave her a kiss on the forehead. He then turned to slip just as silently away.  
  
This had obviously been a mistake, all of it. Even coming here. it had all been near fatal, or at least that's how it felt.  
  
A searing pain rushed into Stanton's head, feeling like a steel blade cutting through soft, tender flesh. The pain split into his head, slashing through, hacking the only tidbits left of his sanity. The constant agony seared his thoughts, to the point where it was so hot it felt icy. This was all provoked by Serena. He's good pure-hearted Serena. All thanks to that damn Inner Circle of the Atrox. He could only remember too vividly what had happened earlier.  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
"We've been informed, Stanton, that you have been seducing a Daughter. On regular terms, this knowledge would be carefully examined and further tested to find a plan involved in converting a Daughter to the Atrox. Unfortunately, we have also been informed from a reliable source, that this is not an act of camaraderie, but an act of treason. We're now aware of the fact that the seduction of this Daughter was of free will and in no intent of pleasing the Atrox. We are very displeased, but we have an alternate solution to the traditional Regulators. You are still most valuable, although rather treasonous."  
  
Stanton felt something of liquid matter seep into his mind, the burning sensation being too much to handle. He covered his head as he slammed to the ground, writhing in pain. He made unreliable efforts to cease the pain of existence, faltering incessantly. His mind felt like it was being penetrated to the core by a long, steel blade. It tore through his mind easily, like a dagger cutting soft, tender flesh of an innocent being. (A/N: Now we all know where Stanton got the analogy, no?) His mind felt watery, invaded even. It felt almost as if someone had to ladle the contents into a bowl to stop them from scattering everywhere.  
  
The effects soon took such strong control that Stanton had to fight vigorously to regain possession of his own thoughts. For no longer were they his own, they now were also shared amongst the Inner Circle.  
  
"My, Stanton, we do have to keep a proficient lookout on your thoughts from now on. It seems there are too many littering your mind and preventing you to focus on what the important thing is here."  
  
"What the hell just happened?"  
  
"We have injected a poison into your mind, Stanton. The deal is rather quite simple, really. As long as you stay away from and not think about your beloved Serena, the potion will remain ineffective. But the more you think about her and continue to see her; you will feel the pain that we just showed you. Every time you continue to displease the Atrox, the pain will gradually get worse, maybe even killing you if it calls for drastic measures. By then you wouldn't have been loyal or even worthy anymore anyway. And if you think we won't find out when or if you do, Stanton, you're so terribly mistaken. We'll know, we ALWAYS do."  
  
This memory is haunting, tormenting, corrupting the only love within him. They're asking him to do the impossible, avoid his beloved Serena. After awhile the pain got too much to bear. He eventually left Serena's room, and slipped off to the shadow world.  
  
After traveling a block or so, Stanton reached his car. He slumped in, only to sit there what seemed to be hours on end. He thought about what his choices were, and which would be more sensible. (A/N: What, Stanton being sensible? My birthday has come early! -cheers incessantly-) The more he thought about it, the more common his newfound pain became. He just wanted to clear his head of everything, so he drove off to that one park that seemed to be so popular amongst everyone. (A/N: I completely forgot what the name of the park was, so just to save myself, I made Stanton not know what the name is.)  
  
He parked and got out of the car, not in a hurry once he surveyed his surroundings. He saw numerous homeless people sleeping on park benches, covered in newspaper. The ones that were not fortunate enough to have claimed the benches slept in trees, with nothing to cover them except the tree's suspending tributaries. For some that weren't able to climb trees (the ones who looked even too feeble to walk), the slept on the cold, harsh ground, covered in nothing at all except the shambled clothes that hung on their brittle bodies.  
  
This made Stanton survey his own body. Being an immortal had its advantages. He was strong and agile, and could definitely survive out here for the night, and many more to come. He relieved himself of his shirt, exposing a very muscular, sexy body. He ran his hands over his defined chest, touching it lightly, then ran his fingers over his tight abs. He felt that he didn't need his shirt to keep warm, even with the winter months approaching. He walked over to a tall, oak tree. Witnessing the sight, he took his shirt and draped it over a small, weak child. He stood to think of what he'd just done. This had not been his action. No no no, it couldn't have been. Certainly this was an action provoked by the goodness Serena left in him. Certainly Serena drove him to this act of kindness...  
  
Oh Serena.  
  
The mere thought of Serena drove Stanton insane. Not only with the blindingly tormenting pain, but the thought that he couldn't see her, think of her, touch her, be one with her. it was more painful than anything physical this potion could ever do to him. Even kill him.  
  
The torture slipped into Stanton's mind once more, increasing in pain and torture. He couldn't control himself. His knees were losing strength, barely capable of holding him up anymore. Soon they gave out completely, and he fell on top of the small child, awakening him.  
  
"Wha- where am I? Hey, you're not my mom. who are you?"  
  
Stanton slipped effortlessly into the boy's mind ::You don't want to know, kid, you don't want to know::  
  
The boy heard what Stanton said, but retained a look of absolute horror once he realized that Stanton had not spoken a word. The boy then screamed for his mother... but sadly he was all alone. He didn't know what to do. With reading the small child's mind once again, Stanton saw that the boy was worried for his life at seeing what he could do. He eyed the loose tree limb about 35 feet away. With great effort the boy dashed to it, and Stanton slipped into shadow form, originally beating him by about 10 seconds, but popping into view just as the boy reached it. Stanton whispered something across they boy's mind again  
  
::I'm sorry, but any attempts to hurt me will further hurt you in the long run. You don't want to devote your life to the Atrox at this age, do you? I'd only know too well. trust me kid, it's hell to pay.:: The young boy, curiosity taking hold of him and planting him firmly in place, spoke up.  
  
"W-wh-what's the A-Atrox, M-M-Mister?" Stanton took joy in hearing the young bow cower and stutter out of utter fear. He was so easy to manipulate; it was hardly a challenge. Stanton prodded the boy's mind, searching for a name. At least now he could scare him a bit more. This would be so much fun.. ::The Atrox, James, can give you everything you've always desired, and more. The Atrox is your master, the only thing you are truly loyal to.:: Stanton prodded James' mind even further to find out his true desires. In his head he found a mental picture.  
  
Stanton saw a simplistic looking house lined with a white picket fence. The front of the house was modestly decorated with a beautiful garden full of perennials. The lawn was an emerald green, well tended to and taken care of. In the distance he could hear the neighborhood children playing in the background, enjoying each other's company as they played noisily around in the numerous backyards. Stanton walked closer up to the house, peering through one of the open windows. Sitting on the windowsill was a delicious smelling pie cooling off, waiting to be attacked by the hungry stomachs of the household. He looked deeper into the interior and saw a humble, tidy looking kitchen with a woman; most likely a mother, hustling about preparing the supper that would end the day and fill the children's heads with thoughts of a wondrous sleep. He then soon saw a small but healthy looking James stumbling down the stairs. He continued straight into the kitchen, and tapped what seemed to be his mother on the shoulder.  
  
"Mother, what are we having for dinner tonight?"  
  
"We're having beef stew, James, just as you'd asked. It is your birthday today, afterall." The woman swept James into a warm embrace, clutching him to her as if she'd lose him if she didn't.  
  
"I love you, James." With this last heart-felt action, the vision blurred and disintegrated into nothing, leaving Stanton and returning to the depths of James' mind.  
  
Stanton suddenly felt a sharp pang of guilt for James, seeing as that his only true desire was to have a good home, and a family. He felt even guiltier that he was about to manipulate this boy, take him in at such a young as was done to him. He was going to steal all of his hope. his pure, beautiful hope, and leave him with nothing but an empty life; handing him on a silver platter something worse than death, which is living with no soul. But the absolute worst most disgusting vile part was..  
  
Stanton didn't care.  
  
He glared at James malevolently, smirking. Stanton sent James a mental picture of him living in a house just like the one in his thoughts, with the same family, the same friends. It was quite similar from the one that Stanton read from his mind, but just slightly different. When James saw what the image was, he looked shocked at first, but then glance at Stanton with hopeful eyes. ::The Atrox can be your family, James, isn't that what you've always wanted?::  
  
James, who was now less frightened of Stanton seeing that he might be able to help him find a family, nodded his head ever so slightly to Stanton's mental question. ::Now look into my eyes, James, and see what the Atrox can do for you.::  
  
James gazed into Stanton's piercing eyes, wondering ever so hopefully if this would work. Slowly, ever so slowly, Stanton was devouring the boy's hope, leaving him weak and hopeless to bow down and serve the Atrox. Stanton slipped into James' mind the very last time, and pushed all of the good thoughts and memories into the depths and oblivion of James' mind, leaving them forgotten, nearly inaccessible to him and most likely to never be found again. After this, Stanton transferred thoughts and images of Serena, hoping that the boy will find her motherly and caring and join the Atrox.  
  
Yet another blunder on Stanton's part.  
  
The antagonizing pain returned to Stanton's mind, and before he could stop it, it entered James' mind as well. With the lost connection and the regained possession of his mind, James let out a sharp cry, and fell to the ground sobbing and clutching his head. The pain might actually wither away what was left of his feeble body.  
  
Stanton heard nearing footsteps behind him, and turned around only to witness Cassandra.  
  
"Oh, it's you. What do you want, and when did you start lurking about this late at night?"  
  
"Well, I'd come to see what all the commotion was, and then I found you, which is what I've always wanted." Cassandra stared longingly at Stanton, finding him very tantalizing without his shirt on. She reached out to touch his chest, but he backed away disgustedly.  
  
"How many times do I have to tell you, Cassandra, I do not wish to be involved with you by any means necessary."  
  
"But you can no longer have Serena, the Atrox has assured that. So why not take me? We're perfect together Stanton, and besides, you know you want me." Stanton ignored the fact that Cassandra was hitting on him, and tried to grasp the concept of her knowing what the Atrox has done to him.  
  
"How did you know that the Atrox has assured me I could no longer have Serena?"  
  
"I was in on the whole thing. Who did you think the 'reliable source' was that told them you were seducing Serena out of your own free will? All this time you thought you had me off your back. all this time you thought that I'd just gave up, you were wrong. I was carefully working out the details to my crafty plan. I persuaded the Inner Circle not to be so traditional, and keep you alive. Convinced them you were a strong asset, and them introduced them to my poison. The enjoyed the idea, and now I have a spot in the Inner Circle. I wanted you Stanton, and I was tired of not doing anything about it, about you and Serena being together. WE belong together Stanton.. not you and Serena. And technically, you owe me one. I saved your life."  
  
"I owe you nothing, Cassandra. Not a damn thing.. not after you've done this to me!! If you truly loved me, you wouldn't hurt me like this."  
  
"I was tired of not having you by my side, Stanton. I felt this was the only option I had to ever truly have you. When Serena was finally put out of the way."  
  
"Here's an option. How about you stay the hell out of my life? Serena's a part of it, no matter what! The Atrox can't do anything about that."  
  
"But Stanton, you'll be killed! I don't want you to die. I want you to be at my side forever, like predicted."  
  
"Cassandra, I hope you realize that if I do die, it's your own fault. You're the one who poisoned me." Cassandra had clearly not thought everything through, and a look of horror dashed across her face, leaving the seducing one to flee in its wrath.  
  
"But.but. you just can't die. That's why you need me more than ever, to take your mind off of Serena. There's no possible way to die when you're with me."  
  
"That's the mere irony of it all, Cassandra, I'd rather die than be with deceptive scum like you. You just don't get it. It's Serena and I who belong together. Serena and me.. us, is everything clear to you now?"  
  
Upstaging Cassandra was probably not the most sensible thing to do at this point in time. After all, it was basically confessing his love for Serena, which resulted in unfathomable pain. Which just so happened to be a lot worse than last time.  
  
"Poor Stanton, I really do hate to see you this way. Here, let me kiss it to make it all better." Cassandra pulled Stanton close to her, and Stanton was in too much pain to refuse. She pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss. And Stanton had to admit that the pain had gone away, since he was no longer thinking about Serena. But he never truly did stop thinking about her. He pictured himself kissing Serena, and only her. The way her soft hair felt in his hands, the way her lips were sweet and supple, the way she always smelled like spearmint and jasmine.. but this scent was not spearmint and jasmine. It was nothing as sweet and divine. Stanton pulled away and realized exactly who he'd been kissing. Cassandra had a devilish smile on her face.  
  
"That was fun, Stanton, we really need to do it more often." With no further words, she slinked away; not noticing the pure look of horror to match the little boy's face that he'd terrorized earlier. 


End file.
